Channel Surfing
by Nemesis DarkAngel
Summary: Crossover from Heck. Reason 1 why you should never let fic authors get bored. Coauthored with MarChan and CurChan


  
  
  
  
Channel Surfing  
  
Martha McMahon  
Bryan Rumph  
Cassandra Berg  
  
The names have been changed to protect the innocent... sort of. I mean,  
if you can't match them to the writers... sheesh! All things copyrighted  
(which is most of the Fic) belong to those people who own them. We wouldn't  
_dream_ of infringing on their copyrights. Yeah, right. ;]  
  
(Mar-chan cracks knuckles and begin typing...)  
  
Three bored, tired humans settled themselves down in front of the TV.  
"I wanna watch Ranma!" quoth B-chan.  
"I wanna watch the Olympics!" quoth Mar-chan.  
"I wanna channel surf!" quoth Cur-chan.  
"CUR-CHAN!"  
"Sheesh."  
"Let's watch both!"  
"Umm... B-chan? Where'd you get the beer?"  
"Umm, erm.... that last Bud Lite commercial."  
"Oh, okay." Mar-chan looks at Cur-chan and rolls her eyes. Cur-chan is  
clutching the remote and looking faintly possessed. "Die Evil Ogre!" bap!?  
"Whoops. You okay Cur-chan?"  
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...."  
"mommy!"  
  
click  
NBC : Baywatch  
  
"Look it's Baywatch!"  
"Quick! Change the channel!"  
"The humanity!"  
"AAAAaaaAaaaaAAAAaaaaaa!"  
  
(Mar-chan hands keyboard to B-chan....)  
  
B-chan tosses the beer at the television as a bolt of lightning strikes  
it and blue bolts of electricity arc all over the set think Quickening here  
people.  
The trepidatious trio slowly move up from their hiding place behind the  
couch.  
"That was Non-non-non-non Heinous"  
bap!!doublebap!!  
B-chan rubs his head, "Hey, what was that for?" Mar-chan and Cur-chan  
both glare at him.  
"Mine was for trashing the TV."  
"And mine was for that Bill and Ted comment."  
"Hurmph... some people just do not appreciate fine art."  
Suddenly B-chan's hentai radar kicks in. "Hey! Look... what's Shampoo  
doing on Baywatch?!" He watches for a second.  
  
in the back ground you can hear the Warner Bros. and Sister going  
"boingy boingy boingy" as Shampoo and the rest of the Ranma gang bound down  
the beach. Of course they are all in swimwear that would do a nudist proud...  
Many male extra's faint on the spot.  
  
"Not that I'm objecting mind you..."  
  
(Mar-chan grabs keyboard _back_ from B-chan...)  
  
Mar-chan looks annoyed as she baps! B-chan repeatedly. "hentaihentai!"  
"Look!" Mar-chan looks over at Cur-chan's cry. "Ryoga!"  
"Now who's being hentai." B-chan grumbles.  
  
on TV the brave new lifeguards leap in after a human in distress. The  
immediately turn into assorted animals. The old Baywatch cast faints.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
"nevermind."  
"AaaaaaAAAaaaa! It's Happosai!"  
group screams of horror  
"Change the channel! Change the channel!"  
  
click  
Comedy Central : MST3K  
  
Ranma, P-chan, and Moose the Duck are silloutes against a large, bad,  
movie. On screen a giant lizard is terrorizing a small western town.  
  
"Yeah! MST3K!!!!" Mar-chan does a dance of happiness.  
"Isn't this a rerun?"  
"They're _all_ reruns..."  
"But.. but, I've only seen this one seven times!" Mar-chan develops  
large brown P-chan eyes (impressive considering her eyes are green.)  
"Is it just me, or does that robot look like a pig?"  
"Just you."  
"B-chan what did you do to the TV?!?"  
"Who says life isn't like beer commercials?"  
"But this isn't my TV!!!!"  
"Whoops."  
  
click  
NBC : 1996 Olympics  
  
"Ooooh look!" cheers Mar-chan, "it's the Womens Gymnastics!!"  
"Not the Olympics _again_....."  
"Maybe if we just locked her in the closet..."  
"B-chan!"  
"nevermind."  
"Good, wait... what's with the Japanese Team? Isn't that Kodachi?"  
drool  
"B-chan!" bapbapbap!  
"Hah! I have the remote!" Cur-chan develops a nasty battle aura, and  
laughs manically. Mar-chan and B-chan hide behind the sofa. "Let the surfing  
begin!"  
"Great." mutters Mar-chan, "_now_ look what you've done..."  
  
click  
HBO : Free Genma  
  
Genma does a marvelous leap out of the water, judges behind him hold up  
10's  
  
click  
USA : Weird Science  
  
Sasuke and Kuno fiddle with a computer when suddenly the Pig-tailed  
Girl appears beside them...  
  
click  
NBC : Friends  
  
Whole Ranma gang is busy drinking coffee and acting um... friendly?!?  
  
(Mar-chan hands keyboard to Cur-chan... Cur-chan looks at keyboard, looks at  
current romance novel, ditches keyboard for book... Mar-can and B-chan  
face-fault, and B-chan takes the keyboard)  
  
click  
BBC 1 : Red Dwarf  
  
Shampoo, Ranma, Ryoga, and Holly, ermm, I mean Akane run about in  
panic. Well, except for Akane, she/he is stuck in the computer  
"When did we start getting the BBC?" B-chan objects from behind the  
couch.  
"You're _complaining_?!?"  
  
click  
Local Syndicate: Geraldo  
  
A pan of the stage shows Ranma, Genma, and the Tendo's all seated in  
those oh so comfy looking chairs  
  
"Hey... what's that banner say?"  
B-chan squints from behind the couch, "Aquatransexuals, and the people  
who love them... next time on Geraldo."  
  
click  
Showtime: Home Alone 2: Lost in Nerima  
  
Ryoga brings both of his hands to his face and screams.  
  
Mar-chan looks at B-chan. "So... how are we going to get the remote back  
from her?"  
"Well, we could wait till the batteries run out."  
"Baka! bap! we can't wait that long... "  
"Umm... I know.. quick! A&E!"  
  
click  
A&E: Wagner's "The Ring"  
  
(B-chan and Mar-chan gasp as Cur-chan actually takes the keyboard and starts  
writing... well, editing anyway. Many cries of objection are viciously edited  
out... Then in a daring raid Mar-chan steals back the keyboard...)  
  
click  
ABC: Lois and Clark  
  
glompf! Cur-chan attaches herself to the TV screen, and worships...  
B-chan quickly follows.... Mar-chan face-faults.  
  
"Look up in the sky! It's a plane! It's a bird!"  
"No! It is I! Tatewake Kuno!"  
  
Cur-chan and B-chan pause in their worshiping.  
  
click  
FOX: 90210  
  
The intro theme plays out with the Ranma gang filling in for the absent  
cast members.  
  
"It's only a FanFic, it's only a FanFic" chants Mar-chan. Cur-chan  
starts to look hypnotized so B-chan dives for the remote.  
"Next!"  
  
click  
USA: Murder She Wrote  
  
Cologne wanders in the door and a nearby extra drops dead.  
"Hello son-in-law!"  
  
"Is it just me, or was Weird Science on just a second ago?"  
"It's must have been the beer."  
"I thought it was the pretzels...."  
BAP!  
  
click  
FOX: Sienfield  
  
"Hah! Look! it's Pretzel Boy!"  
"Now I _know_ this was 90210 before..."  
"And this is a _bad_ thing?"  
"Next!"  
"Why?"  
"Self-preservation?"  
  
click  
click-click  
_click_!  
  
"Whoops."  
"Um... did you have rabbit ears on this thing?"  
"Nope."  
"Then what's that?"  
"A spunny."  
"What's a bug from the Ultimate Force Machine doing in the TV?"  
"Eating."  
"No... that's the cabbit."  
"Oh. Then the white one's the spunny?"  
"No, that's Urd."  
"Oh. She must be a Playboy bunny."  
"EXCUSE ME!!!??"  
"Maybe not."  
"I sort of like the bunny theme."  
"Perhaps you would like to reconsider?"  
"Ummmm...."  
ZOT!  
"Ow." thud owowowowowowowowowow!  
"Die Spunnies!" cried Skuld as she ran in from the bathroom. A startled  
looking Soun peeks around the corner.  
"Rowf?" (Sign : Who was _that_?)  
"I have no idea Saotome, is she.. IS SHE RANMA'S FIANCE!?!"  
"rowf." (yipe!)  
  
(The authors scatter as Urd lays waste to the surrounding furniture,  
Skuld deals death to the spunnies, and Soun demon-heads in the bathroom. And  
the FanFic stumbles to a close....)  
  
bap!  
"I am _NOT_ a spunny!"  
"Sorry sis."  
  
CLICK  
--------------3D714566AE0--  
  



End file.
